Clean Living: Day 4

When I returned home from school today, my body moved toward the pan of chocolate chip cookie bars. My hand reached for the foil and removed it. My nose sniffed what remained of the thick, gooey dessert and my brain decided it did not smell good.

That’s right. The cookies didn’t smell appetizing.

If you don’t eat something for long enough, you stop craving it. Now, this is only my 4th day being dessert-free, but I think I have successfully tricked my mind into not actually wanting to put cookie in my mouth.

I smelled it, I knew how it would taste and my mind decided that I didn’t crave that taste.

Hallelujah.

Instead, I ate a snack of Greek yogurt and frozen berries.

Then, I set out to go running.

Here’s the thing about running. It takes almost more effort for me to convince myself to put on a sportsbra lace up my Asics than it does to physically run. The process of talking myself into going running is far more grueling than the actual run.

The process involves a lot of looking at “healthygirl” and “cleanandleanbaby” on Instagram and poking my head out the front door several times to make sure I’m appropriately dressed for the weather.

I can run for quite a while (by my standards) simply because I am lazy. Deciding to run is probably about five-sixths of the battle, so once I get started, I figure I’m already outside and sweaty, so I might as well go as far as I can. That way, I can use the mileage to justify not running tomorrow or polishing off my bag of trail mix.

I think one time on Easter, I ran something like eight miles. This was to compensate for the huge amount of ham that waited for me at home. This week, however, I’ve kept my runs between two and a half to six-ish miles.

It also occurred to me that I run for the wrong reasons. I will shamelessly admit that I am not one of those runners who lives for the crisp wind on the face or the imminent burn of the quads while trekking up a hill. Honestly, I run to eat.

But running definitely makes me feel better about myself. I feel proud and fulfilled after a run and I love the fatigue in my legs that stays with me the rest of the evening. When I struggle to walk down the stairs, I feel great about myself.

Even after I stop my no-dessert week, I’m definitely going to integrate more running into my normal, dessert-rich life.

After my exercise triumph, I found that my mother set kimchi, or Korean pickled cabbage, out for dinner. Yes, it sounds horribly unappetizing, but it’s an acquired taste. And for those of us who have acquired that taste, we are all irrevocably in love with it.

The best part about kimchi: it is fermented cabbage with hot chili pepper, aka essentially calorie free. I supplemented my kimchi with an egg and some white rice. And because I need my protein, I also ate some chicken and bell peppers.

I am not sure of how much of an entire cabbage I had consumed, but I was definitely thankful to have a food that I could eat to my brain’s content.

Of course, this didn’t stop me from having my “cheater dessert” (Kashi dark chocolate coconut granola bar) and a little more trail mix.

But I ran today, so it’s all good, right?

-HKM